Self-compassion instead of criticism 10.16.20

Dear Students, 

The module system makes it extra easy to slip up. There are so many things to remember to do from day to day that you inevitably miss some of them. You might misread the assignment details, or accidentally skip a group meeting. Or the slipping up can extend beyond classes, and you forget to call someone back because you were swamped with schoolwork or miss a club or rehearsal because you simply forgot.

How do you react when you make an inevitable mistake? 

Do you say mean and critical things to yourself? Things like that was so dumb, I'm an idiot, I can't believe how badly I screwed that up, I'm the worst...? I'd add more examples but it's getting painful to even write those hypothetical phrases down. Ouch. It hurts just to consider anyone saying that to you, even - and especially - you. 

Isn't it interesting that we are so much harder on ourselves than anyone else? We would never say you're such an idiot to a friend who made a simple mistake. 

The next time you slip up, perform a thought experiment: try compassion instead of criticism. Try kindness instead of meanness. It might feel weird, but it might also help you get through the disappointment and difficulty of the moment more peacefully. 

Try saying things you would say to a friend, like: I made a mistake; everyone makes mistakes. I'm doing my best in a tough situation. It's so hard for me when I forget something important, because I want to be a good student. This module system is really challenging. 

You get the idea. And those types of messages aren't only kind, they're true. We aren't perfect. We are doing our best. We do deserve compassion and care, even and especiallywhen we make mistakes. 

Doing college in a pandemic is hard enough. Allowing yourself to be the imperfect and loveable person you really are is one way to support yourself, rather than tear yourself down, as we all try our best to navigate a really hard moment. 

With compassion,

Lauren, Susan, Katharina, Meagan, Alexis, Kelly and Gene